Sex Hurts. Why Can't we just push through it?!

Sex Hurts. Why Can't we just push through it?!

Sex Hurts. Why Can't we just push through it?

A common question that I get from people who have trouble with pain free sex is… shouldn’t we just keep “doing it” and have MORE sex or use the dilators more to keep “it” stretched out?

The Answer: Not necessarily 🙅🏻‍♀️


There’s a balance. ⚖️ That thought process seems correct but having painful sex too frequently can cause many issues:



🧠Brain will associate sex=pain: our brain’s job is to protect our body and determine different threats. Have you ever gotten a bruise, but you had no pain and no idea how you got it? Well, there was obvious tissue damage, but there was no pain? It is because your brain didn’t associate with whatever happened to be a threat.


So for painful sex, your brain may start to associate the act with pain, leading to more guarding, increased


sensitivity, and increased pain. Our brain is our biggest sex organ so it’s important to train this as well with positive experiences.


💪🏼The pelvic floor and vagina can stretch, but stretching it too quickly can cause reflexive muscular guarding or scar tissue build up.


Analogy time: Think of the vaginal opening as a tight/ small rubber band. If you keep stretching it quickly or too frequently, the band will snap or tear. This is similar to your pelvic floor and vagina.


In order to stretch the rubber band, you have to slowly load the area, and over time the “rubber band” will gradually stretch. Too little stretching wether it be dilators, sex, or hip stretches, etc. will not change anything but also too much stretching, intercourse, dilators can have a negative effect and set you back!

Painful sex is such a emotional and personal issue that can generate many issues in a relationship. It affects a lot of couples (more than you probably realize). But it is SO SO important to get help ASAP.


Where to go?

  • Start with primary care MD or OBGYN, or Gynecologist to diagnose any potential underlying issues

  • Pelvic floor therapist

  • Sex therapist or mental health specialist or couples sessions may be necessary

Just know with help… you will be okay 💕




Raise The Pelvic Floor


Disclaimer: The information and content here is solely for informational and educational purposes. It is not to be used as a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.


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